How Learning Astrology Changed the Relationship with my Husband

One of the first things you do as you learn astrology is to pull the charts of your closest friends and loved ones. These charts form the basis for grounding all the information you’re learning into physical, embodied humans.  Over time you these archetypes start to come alive in your mind and you start recognizing their presence. Since you know them the best, you can better see the archetypes of the GODs and how they play out in the mundane life of those people you interact with every day.

I had an epiphany in my first year of formal Astrological study that one behavior my husband had brought me no end of frustration was, in fact, an archetypal pattern of behavior that was unconscious and hard wired in him and exemplified in his birthchart.  Meaning, what I felt was a flaw that needed rectifying, was actually just a part of who my husband was and no end of cajoling or needling would get him to change his actions to satisfy my wishes around the subject.

You see, my husband is an amazing provider, he’s highly respected in his career as a software engineer and he asks for little more from me than to do what makes me happy and in turn allow him to do the same.  For twenty years of marriage this has been quite the blessing and after raising three kids and two dogs, this simple model has worked very well.  When it comes to projects around the house, though, he loves starting them, even completing them, but always leaves one or two things laying about or unfinished at the completion stage.  Nothing too big, but lights on, tools left out, doors left open.  We live in a big house, so it’s easy to forget that these projects are just shy of the finish line because you may not run across the project area in your daily meanderings.  However, as “house manager,” I tend to run across the entirety of the house, every day, and I see the unfinished pieces and grumble about them, wondering why they were “left for me” to finish up.  “Just turn the light off in the workshop, could you, honey?” 

I’m sure that most married couples could come up with mundane situations like this that seem innocuous in the telling, but that create a slow burn of frustration over repetition and time.  It’s part of long term coupling and I am not immune to its challenges. These little nits that have us grumbling regularly act as water over a stone, eroding the good graces and interrupting connection. 

You see, my husband has a ton of “fixed” energy in his natal birth chart.  Zodiacal signs are grouped into numerous categories, one has to do with where those signs sit in the seasonal calendar.  This is the category of which I speak called Quadruplicity or Modality. 

Tropical/Cardinal       Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn Initiative Energy
Fixed/Solid       Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius Plodding Energy Double-Bodied/Mutable     Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces Multi-tasking Energy

Fixed (Solid) Zodiac signs are those signs that sit in the middle point of the four seasons.  It’s a time when the air is calm and the weather is unchanging within the season (Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter).  People with heavy fixed sign energy tend to be good at consistent work towards a far horizon, they love stability and security and when they consider something done they move on to the next plodding topic.  So in the case of my husband, he does not see the few remaining unfinished pieces (clean-up, closure) of the project as lingering, incomplete aspects, he’s moved on to the next interesting thing.

Understanding that he does not see the few remaining, unfinished pieces scattered about and had moved on was an epiphany for me.  And it changed my relationship with how I viewed and responded to these remnants, thereby changing my life.

What a gift! 

I shifted my own perspective around the topic, stopped mumbling about it around the house and just recognized that “that’s part of who he is” and moved on with my day.  From that point forward, the energy between us also shifted and we both seemed more capable of celebrating each other.  These shifts were all subtle, but noticeable and impactful.

Since then I have been offering readings to clients to help them illuminate blind spots in their own relationships (spousal, children, family, co-workers) and the results have been transformative.  You can see how this insight can help you in your own relationships by booking a session with me here:  https://www.sensibleheals.com/store/p/relationship-reframe

Sometimes small insights can reap huge rewards. I love helping people see thru a new lens.